That is, until its final ten minutes, where the filmmakers raised their middle fingers to the audience and said, "Hey, you know that awesome movie you were just watching?. Violent, gory, and featuring a sequence of gratuitous lesbian masturbation, "High Tension" was on track to become one of the great horror films of our time. ![]() This leads to many puzzling questions, not least of which is, how in the hell did she manage to give herself a blowjob with that decapitated gal's head? (By the way, it's kind of a messed up movie.) Yes that French version of Natalie Portman is the one who stalked and killed a handful of grown men using seemingly super human strength to dispatch them with ease. ![]() In this French film, it turns out that the obese serial killing truck driver think Larry the Cable Guy except stronger and with more charisma was actually an alternate personality of Marie, a hot lesbian played by cutie Cecile de France. Of course, we're supposed to overlook this minor dramatic incoherence because of the beauty inherent in two individuals being sexually aroused in the midst of several innocent people dying. We're assuming this was supposed to be some sort of artful statement about death and dreams and seat belt safety, but expecting an audience to care about two people whose personalities were imagined by a man who was clearly under the influence of some sort of psychotropic drugs is pretty ridiculous (basically the equivalent of making the last ten minutes of The Doors a subplot about the Indian getting it on with the Lizard King). This apparently happens because they're the same people that got to know each other in some dude's dream. Instead we get two complete strangers hooking up immediately following a horrible car crash. You'd figure that with only ten minutes of stuff that actually, you know, happens, they'd have managed to at least get that part right. There is literally less than ten minutes of the movie that actually occurs. ![]() We're going to assume this is due to all the acid he took before the car crash, because that's the only way of explaining the incoherent mess he sees in the moments before death.Īpparently too busy sucking themselves off over the stylish transitions and slick effects to bother with actual plotting, the makers of "Stay" created a movie with a plot outline that was actually already used in a Saved by the Bell episode (Rockumentary). If you're looking for something to watch with the younger ones, there are many more suggestions on our list of scary movies for kids.The car crash at the beginning of the movie was the only real event, with Henry the main character having hallucinated the rest in the midst of death. Note: There are a couple of family-friendly picks on this list, but most of them are of the blood, guts and gore variety. (And maybe throughout the year? Horror really has no season.) They have some of our favorite horror elements - be they witches, vampires, haunted houses, ghosts or psychological scares - which is another reason why you'll want to reach for these every October. And still others combine the old and the new, putting in new entries (or reboots, or remakes) into long-running favorite franchises. Others are newer favorites we know will stick around because they come from some of our favorite voices in horror. Most of them have stood the test of time because they pick at a nagging anxiety, be it something small (like creepy dolls) or something larger (the looming dread that, no matter how hard you try, you'll never be able to keep your family totally safe). ![]() When the mood strikes, these are the best Halloween movies of all time. We want that oddly comforting feeling of walking around a darkened, spooky house, knowing that something is going to jump out at us at any minute. We reach for those familiar directors, from old greats like James Whale or Stanley Kubrick to newer faves like Jordan Peele or James Wan. We want to spend time with our villains, be they Dracula, Michael Myers, Chucky or Freddy Krueger. And while there are so many great scary movies out there, when this time of year rolls around, we reach for the familiar. For Halloween, that means scaring ourselves to death with a classic horror movie. Holidays are a time of traditions, and in that spirit, we love to do the same things year after year.
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